Albanese Speaks Out

Scoop - BRN Exclusive - The Albanese Interview*

Well what a turnaround a budget makes! Seems the electorate doesn't like politicians that lie. Amazingly BRN has managed to get an interview with the Prime Minister - Anthony Albanese. Apart from hard questions about the budget we delve deep and see what really makes him tick. You will find the history we uncover here explains why Australians are struggling right now and why Albo's budget will not help them get ahead at all.

Bank Reform Now (BRN) - Thanks so much for coming in today. We were getting pretty worried that you were going to continue sticking with ALP friendly media. We’re happy to see you ... but we are going to be asking the hard questions.

Anthony Albanese (AA) - Let me be clear from the beginning I’m not happy to be here. In fact it is regrettable that my staffers have put me in this position.

BRN - Why did you lie about your position regarding Negative Gearing and CGT before the last election?

AA - That's not a hard question. I am a man of principles ... as the whole country knows ... my word is my bond. I made a promise and committent many years ago. This is off the record .... but - once a Trotskyist always a Trotskyist. The ends always justifies the means - so things I promised decades ago and even now-a-days are just part of political game playing.

BRN - So like Trotsky you want to see a permanent global revolution. One where the masses demand change because their living conditions have been made unbearable.

AA - Exactly right! Activists have been undermining Australia for decades. It's so obvious now and yet we still managed to get a landslide election win.

BRN - Landslide? You only got 34% of the primary vote - one of the ALP's worst results ever! You and the LNP will be lucky to get above 25% each next time. People really do now know that the major parties are not working for them or their country.

AA - The globalists are so close to victory now. We've got high inflation, rising interest rates, rising unemployment. And don't forget the official figures for all those are dodgy AF. Real inflation is higher than 10%. Unemployment has been under reported for decades. It'll get worse with the coming business failures and AI related entry level job losses. The young will be screaming for a revolution when they can't afford to eat let alone put a roof over their heads.

BRN - OK ...  it is becoming clear now. Your budget wants to tax wealth which brings in income that wasn't "worked" for. At the same time you are happy for young workers to see their incomes secretly stolen by inflation. So really ... no one can get ahead .. and no one gets a fair go. The whole point of working hard when you're young - making good decisions regarding savings and investments ... and making sacrifices to improve your skills and decrease wasting your money is to have assets providing you with investment related income so you can decrease your work hours. If there is no way of doing that people won't be bothered to work hard and smart to build a good life for their families. The country will stagnate. So it looks like you are going in for the kill ... turning Australia into a banana republic. We actually discussed this before your budget - I'll send you the link >> Behold - The Banana Republic 

AA - Try explaining that to the population. Either, they won't believe you or they are just too scared, busy, distracted to even think about it. Some people think that we are taxing them to improve lives and providing services and infrastructure [Albo begins to choke on his laughter]

BRN - Are you OK? Here .... have some water Albo.

AA - Sorry ... it gets me every time. For decades we do the same mantra at every election - schools - roads - health. And they believe it ... every F'nnn time. So many kids can hardly read and count when they leave school - all they learn is how to vote. Chronic diseases are skyrocketing. Did you see how we released our piss weak response on gambling reforms when all the key journos were in the budget lock up? What a team I have!

BRN - what are you taking the population's money for if you're not intending to use it effectively?

AA - this isn't a hard question .. it's a stupid question! I said I'm a revolutionary. The idea is to take the money and then waste it. AND - while we waste it our mates get a cut. Did you see how Victoria took $15 Billion off taxpayers and gave it to an organised crime operation? We've done the same with Net Zero policies, NDIS policies, unsustainable immigration policies, even Closing the Gap policies. And man oh man .... AUKUS - $400 Billion and counting! Billions and Billions of Dollars stolen year after year ... and the country is going backwards. Cost of living up. Real wages and standard of living plummeting. Richest country in the world and worst performance on per capita GDP. The globalist are giving our Treasurers awards for doing so well in crippling the country. Australia has been designated by its rulers: a tourist Mecca; a money laundering hub; and a quarry supplying cut-price resources to be extracted for processing and value adding offshore.

BRN - Is that why decades of government policies have been designed to hinder businesses here and stop us value adding to our resources?

AA - are you thick? Of course! We are not a sovereign nation.

BRN - Hmmm ... I see. If Australia used its Sovereign Monetary System properly you would barely need to tax anyone. Small businesses wouldn't need to be taxed at all. Many Middle East resource rich nations don't tax their citizens. They even get a payment regularly. In fact - these resource rich sovereign states have a Sovereign Wealth Fund. Albo - your philosophy seems to be coming from a radically ill informed position - you do know that in the Soviet Union they confiscated the bulk of privately owned farmland? Turned out that the 3% that was left in private hands produced 30% of the food. Collectivist farming still managed to lead to famine. Maybe your philosophy goes against human nature. Looks like you're a creation of your 1970s high school and uni teachers. Pity the main institutions discourage critical thinking. You probably weren't taught at the time about Freire, Gramsci, and Marcuse all of whom highlighted the use of education as a tool for ideological indoctrination, aiming to shape the beliefs and values of the younger generation ...... yes Albo ... to promote your desired revolution.

AA - Don't even try to inform Aussies about that sort of stuff. We'll have you shadow banned. If the people knew how they are being screwed I reckon some businesses would stop dealing with any politicians at all. We wouldn't be allowed into their cafes and restaurants. We wouldn't be able to get cleaners or gardeners into our houses. Builders wouldn't help us with renovations. It really would be terrible if businesses boycotted us. Just because we've made life so hard for them .... they'd retaliate by making life hard for us. What a nightmare that would be! Many pollies would probably have to leave the country. Lucky for us that Aussies are the most apathetic people in the world.

BRN - But didn't you expect the population to rise up when their lives and businesses face unbearable difficulties. Maybe the revolution triggered will be one where they demand the parasitic globalists get off their backs. Maybe Aussies want to live in civilised freedom without all the politician generated manipulation and bullshit that has been handicapping their lives and progress for decades.

AA - Piss off ..... we are so close now to getting what we want.

BRN - one other question millions of taxpayers and business owners want to know. Have you ever personally earned a private dollar? Looking at your resume you have a economics degree and after that you worked a year at the Commonwealth Bank - when it was owned by Australia - you know? ... Before the ALP sold it. After that you were a leftist party hack who managed to get on the train to a gold plated meal ticket once elected to Parliament.

AA - well yes ... that is true.

BRN - So your whole life you have been on a regular government pay cheque. Never opened a business. Never had to manage a payroll. Never had to get up at 2am to look after a sick cow on a farm. Never had to deal with navigating the tens of thousands of laws and obligations foisted onto anyone trying to "have a crack" at getting ahead in their own businesses and lives. This applies to many people in your party doesn't it?

AA - I've had a good run. Truth be told I'm the luckiest guy in the country - minimal skills and look at my investment portfolio ... hooooo boy ...love that negative gearing and CGT story ..... and all thanks to the workers that take a risk every day opening their farms, factories, small businesses. The funny thing is that no matter how my decisions harm them and the country my pay and perks never go down. The ALP and LNP have set it up so well. Even after I leave office I'll be getting hundreds of thousands a year. Of course the fair thing would be for my pay and perks to go down when citizens find their standard of living going backwards. But we don't really believe in fairness. We are just lining our pockets in as many ways possible. Many of us pollies even get jobs after politics where our inside knowledge and contacts can be exploited by the corporations we helped make extremely big bucks while we were in office [begins laughing uncontrollably again].

BRN - settle down man ..... you're almost crying.

AA - I'm just so happy lately. Even this budget is a booby trap. We do the same shit and get away with it ever time. We lied about the Stage 3 Tax Cut - "we changed our position." We lied about changing Super  - "we changed our position." And now the same with Negative Gearing and CGT. Same trick  - with Super everyone was distracted by us saying we wanted to tax unrealised capital gains - of course we wanted to but that would have been the cherry on top. We backed down but we doubled the Super tax for many and tripled it for some. We'll do the same with the budget changes. Some minor back tracking but still getting the cash grab as planned. Jim will be getting an award from the WEF and World Bank for this ... no doubt about it!

BRN - well you seem to be very confident about your plans and intellect. What do you think about this likely scenario for the next election? One Nation will take primary votes from both the ALP and LNP. They will in fact have more votes than the LNP.

AA - We will have more seats in the house anyway ... and we will form a government.

BRN - Very clever .... but what will really happen is that One Nation and the LNP will team up. Don't worry about what they say. Here's the kicker ... One Nation will only do the deal if the LNP agrees to policies that are sensible and will save Australia. No one trusts the LNP - their current leadership was right there with Morrison when the inflation fire was started. We hope they have policies like these >> BRN Policy Platform - it's just commonsense if you want a decent country. We could easily have cheap reliable energy, even free tertiary education in STEM subjects. It is criminal that in a resource rich country keen young uni students are paying for their own indoctrination and being saddled with a shocking debt. Yeah ... you really care about helping them afford to live in this country.

AA - Is that right?

BRN - The young are seeing through the two party charade - the Uni-Party. It's useless to put in policies that won't help people now. If you really cared about helping the young afford a home this is what you would do right now- 

AA - But ... but ..... but .. we've wanted to beef up the CGT for decades.

BRN - Funny thing Albo - but from 1788 to 1985 there was no CGT in Australia. What a magnificent country was built in just 200 years! Of course, there were difficulties and exploitation. The Anglo-American Empire is mainly responsible for our lack of Sovereignty. If Whitlam had played his cards better the key issues could have been sorted decades ago but he preferred crashing through with wild exuberance.

AA - Ha ha ha - the Americans have got this country by the balls. Every PM on their first day is told what is expected. If the LNP and One Nation team up to work on a Sovereign Wealth Fund and effective Monetary System just you wait to see what happens.

BRN - Well at least you have finally told it how it is. I'm sure the readers will appreciate you finally being honest with them .... it was almost worth the wait. Thanks so much for coming in.

   20 minutes later

AA - can you give me a lift please? .... My .. my .... my .... driver said he's not gonna take me back to the lodge ...... and .. none ... none ..... none .... of the Taxis or Uber drivers are picking me up. Could you give me a burger too please .... the youngster at McDonalds wouldn't serve me!!!??

BRN - sorry buddy .... the jig is up.
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* This is a satirical parody. Any similarities to persons living or lame-duck are purely coincidental.